Letting it all out

It’s been a while tumblr. I think every other post of mine starts off with how I’ve been neglecting you. I always come back for more though, so that counts for something right! Right?

There’s a lot of stuff to write about that has happened to me since I last posted, but today I only want to talk about one thing. Quidditch! I’m off to the Quidditch World Cup in just about 5 hours. It has been a dream come true. Especially when I didn’t make the Football (Soccer) team. I know ‘Muggle’ Quidditch existed and I always wanted to play, but I assumed that once I made the football team I wouldn’t have time for anything else. I guess fate had other plans for me and I couldn’t be happier. Syracuse Quidditch is Awesome! I don’t even have to change position! I’m still a Keeper (and I think I will always be one!)

Since I was I child I always dreamed of playing at a World Cup. Winning it. I always believed I could. As I grew I started to realize that the level of skill, talent and dedication to achieve this in a sport like Football was way too much for me to handle. I liked doing other things! Not just training 24/7 for 18 to 20 years in the hopes of one playing at the FIFA World Cup.

Now I get a chance to do it. And we actually have an ok to pretty good chance of winning Division 2! Yes it’s not Division 1. But I’m not that disappointed. Division Quidditch teams are mental; they train 7-8 times a week. I can’t and don’t want to do that. We’re playing Quidditch, it should be fun! I can’t wait for it to start! I feel like I’m going to explode while waiting. I think I’ve mentioned this before but I hate waiting! Once the match or event starts I’m calm. Getting to the start of said even or match is EXCRUCIATING.

Right, I have to go a ton of things before I leave, but I couldn’t leave without writing something about this. Even if we don’t win, spending time with my awesome team mates and being on an Island with about 5-8000 Harry Potter fans is going to be one of the best experiences of my life!

Well this is it. I’m leaving for America and eventually college, in 3 hours and 45 minutes. A 16 hours (at least) flight nonstop from Dubai to San Francisco to visit family. Then in 2 weeks I’ll back up to New York and Syracuse.  I’m finding it hard to describe what I’m feeling right now. What do you feel when after 19 years of your life you leave the place where you grew up in, the friends you love, the people you’ve grown attached to? I don’t know. I know I’ll be back in December for the Winter break and I know I’ll see them all again. It’s just weird. Don’t get me wrong I can’t wait for College to start but it’s with mixed emotions that I leave. I think it’s because once I get off the plane I’ll be taking another step towards becoming an adult and really, who wants to be an adult?

See you in 20 hours or so Tumblr!

Today is the day I find out who my first college room mate is. Just waiting for Syracuse to send me the email. Stupid 8 hour time difference between Dubai and New York. Not expecting it before 10pm my time. Move Faster Time!

I cannot wait till I am 3,868km/2,403 miles away from my asshole of a younger brother

Right I’m done mourning for my childhood now, time to look ahead to the future.  Really I’m just waiting for Freshman Year of college to start, which is a month and a week away. For about 3 weeks of that time I’m going to be in the USA visiting various members of my family. After which I’ll head to Syracuse University.  Till then I’m sort of trapped in limbo I guess. I feel like I’m wasting my time.  Really I just wake up, surf the internet till it’s the evening then maybe go out with my friends or more internet. It’s getting kind of mind-numbing, especially when I do actually want to do things; I’m just too lazy to do them. Which is why I’m making this list and putting it on the Internet. Once what I want to do is in writing I find it very difficult to procrastinate.

So in no particular order here are my goals for the next Month and a week:

• Actually this is the first and most important. I need to stop going to bed at 3/4am and waking up at 12/ 1/2pm. It just screws the timing on everything up.
• Write every day. Pure and simple. I have Ideas I just need to get them down on paper. I know I have at least one publishable idea; I just need to get off my butt and make it happen.
•  I must run/walk/cover on foot at least 15 kilometers a day. I need to build my stamina to give me every chance to get into the Division 1 College Football “Soccer”.
• Building on the last point I need to stick to my diet, I let myself go a bit in the last two weeks because I was sick. Fortunately the damage isn’t too great (only gained a kilo or 2). I need to hit my goal weight of 100kg even. Which means I have to lose more 15kg. Now of course that’s not going to happen in a month and a week, but I should be at least 4-5 kg down in that time.
• Building on the last two points I must carry out goalkeeping specific work outs to improve my overall game (increasing reaction time, vertical jump, improving my distribution.
•  READ MORE. I haven’t read anything good in AGES and I have a ton of books just lying around and I really need to get to them before I go off to the States and College.
• Finish at least 5 games. I also have a lot of video games lying around that I really need to finish off, since I won’t have any of my game consoles with me in Syracuse.
• Figure out some sort of Hairstyle for myself. Sounds weird I know, but for the last 6 years I never had any particular hairstyle. I would just make sure it wasn’t sticking out at funny angles before I left went out/to school.

Looking at my goals I realize some things:

1.  I’m going to be visiting my Buildings’ Gym a lot.
2. I procrastinate waaaaay to much
3. I REALLY want to play College Level Soccer and I know I can do it.

Quite a few of them have to do with my body, but really I have no self-esteem problems/issues with my body. I’m perfectly comfortable with who I am. I just know what I want (to Play Division 1 College Football “Soccer”) and that in my current shape it would probably not be possible. As for the hair, well that was just something that has been annoying me for a while now. I used to tell myself it was Harry Potter-esque (and it is) but I do feel the need for some sort of regular style that isn’t whatever my hair decided to be when I woke up just flattened a bit.

I know I can do it. I just have to do it. That’s the hardest part.

14 years ago, a random British Woman had a book published.

11 years ago my 8 year old self wanted to read Archie Comics while getting his hair cut. His Barber asked him why he wasn’t reading “the Harry Potter book”. “What?” Said my younger self, only half paying attention. “You know,” he replied, “Harry Potter does this, Harry Potter does that”. For some reason I stored that little nugget of information somewhere in my tiny head. I was always on the lookout for new books. My next visit to my School’s Library, I took my Barbers advice and borrowed Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone. I was hooked.

10 years ago my 9 year old self was surprised with family lunch and a trip to the movies to watch Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone. Made incredibly more surprising since my parents rarely took us to the movies at all. Nor did the really approve of Harry Potter.

9 years ago my 10 year old self had to beg his parents to take him to see the Chamber of Secrets movie. After 2 weeks of pleading my wish was granted.

8 years ago my 11 year old self was surprised while he was sitting by the pool. His Parents handed him a copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, they had picked up at its 3am release. It was (At the time) the longest book I have ever read. I finished it in less than 2 days.

7 years ago my 12 year old self was horrifically embarrassed when my Dad bought my 80+year old Grandma to the Prisoner of Azkaban movie premier. She still doesn’t know how to pronounce “Dementor”. Or what they are for that matter.

6 years ago my 13 year old self went to the midnight release of Half Blood Prince, even though I had work the next day (Yes I had one month of being a secretary when I was 13. I was older than I looked so it was fine). I spent the day reading under my desk, cursing every time I had to attend to something. Later on in the year I ran to the Cinema next to my house to watch Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I still remember getting chills watching Lord Voldemort return.

4 years ago my 15 year old self lined up for 19 hours to be first in line (at a now closed Bookshop) to get his copies of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

3 years ago my 16 year old self took a break from my Boot Camp and put his Diet on hold while he traveled back home from a different country just to watch Half Blood Prince in a proper theater. I still achieved my goal of making the Senior Basketball Team.

1 year ago my 18 year old self sat by himself in a Cinema and watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 1. I watched it 3 more times with various people. I never got bored of it.

Tonight I will be driving my (19 year old) self to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2.

Tonight I grow up and leave all traces of my childhood behind. Life is different now. Harry Potter is the last remaining link from my Childhood that survives. When the credits roll, that’s it. Tonight the link is severed. Tonight I stop goofing around. Tonight is the night where I pick up my responsibilities and start chasing the bigger goals I have for myself. Tonight I grow up.

 Harry Potter will always have a special corner in my heart. I grew up with it and so will my kids. It will live on forever.

But when those credits roll tonight, a little part of me is going to die in that Cinema.

So many things to do. So much stuff to pack. So many memories to get rid of. So many conflicting emotions. So many feelings, thoughts and ideas.

It’s a Wonder my head doesn’t explode.

There is something magical about watching the sunrise from the windows of a plane.

Today I was faced with a choice. One Right and One Easy. To Run? or stay and face the issue? Yes I started to run, I panicked. Even though deep down I knew I would never have been able to live with myself (for a while at least). I panicked. Then my Best Friend who was with me and my Conscience kicked into play. And both made me realize that I should turn back. So Thank You friend and Thank You Parents who’s Conscience I inherited. For making me realize that nothing is worth running from. Ever.

 And Thank You to the same friend, for reminding me how to spell Conscience.

I’m a fiercely competitive person and I hate losing. I hate it. The sour taste in your mouth as arrogant, but superior opposition celebrates. Even more infuriating when you know you could beat them but mitigating circumstances have robbed you of your chance.  The gut wrenching feeling when you know that all the hard work you put in wasn’t enough. Football (“Soccer”), Basketball, Cricket, Test Marks, Chess, whatever it is I can’t stand it when people beat me in direct competition. At least when they’re arrogant/condescending it’s easy to hate them. To use their arrogance as fuel for the training afterwards, it gives you a goal. A drive, a burning fire deep within, fueled by their smug looks and condescension that oozes out of them and their coach. It’s worse when they’re nice about it. When you have to half grimace and respect them as you shake their hand, because not only are they gracious about their win, but you know they were just that little bit better. Losing to your rivals. The ones you hate. The ones who are so annoying that the thought of losing to them makes you want to throw up. Where beating them is almost as good as winning the Championship and losing makes you want to kill something.

Finally, the thing I hate the most. Losing to someone/a team that are exactly the same as you in every way.  They are a carbon copy of yourself. Same interests, same training regime, same weaknesses, same attitude, same everything. They just beat you because some unknown force decided it was their time to do so. Sometimes you trade victories. Sometimes they always win and vice-versa. Losing to them always burns the most. You don’t know why or how they won.  They just did. It’s like being beaten by your reflection. 

Losing teaches you important things in life. It instills values in you like patience, sportsmanship and humility. But it’s also a bitter pill to swallow. Whether it is to an inferior team, a snobby superior one, the nice ones, your rivals or worst of all a person/team who are carbon copies of you losing is irritating at best and infuriating at its worst and I hate it.

Here’s to winning! Here’s to doing your best! right?

When you attend your younger Brother’s High School Graduation and end up sitting next to your best friend from 4th/5th grade who is now a giant douche bag. You both then proceed to make fake conversation, when in fact you never really hung out/talked with each other in the years 6-12. The conversation is so excruciatingly forced, but you have to because both your and his parents are there. They think you are still friends.

Noun-

1) A state of great commotion, confusion, or disturbance; tumult; agitation;

2) My Life right now

about walking home everyday and seeing the footprints you made the day before, and the day before that.

Schools over, Haven’t started my job yet, the world cup is over and thus I find myself with so much time on my hands I have no idea what to do. Boredom. A single word that can change ones life completely. 

Filling my waking hours has become a challenge. Anything I start finishes all to quickly. T.V. shows come and go. House (two full  run-throughs ) , Friends, Chuck, and Seinfeld. Entourage,True Blood and Dexter still to come. Movies as well. I’ve watched more movies in theaters this month then I ever have before (Usually I go once or twice a month if at all). Still I find myself with hours and hours of free time.

The World Cup provided a good time-filler ( it was exciting as well), for a month my day was filled with one thought, when’s the next match? That filled the hours well and life assumed a normal pattern. Then it ended and I was back to square one (what ever happened to the other squares?).

Games that I had longed to play while I was studying suddenly hold no appeal over me and I know all my books by heart. The Gym bores me where it used to offer a challenge at the very least.Even writing has become hard, a first for me.

The only thing that provides me with some sort of excitement is driving class and I think that’s because I’m trying to not kill myself.

Boredom. This is your fault.

I think I’ll go watch something now